Breaking up

Everyone knows that breaking up sucks. I have recently broken up with Jake (name has been changed for privacy) that I dated for 3 months (but we were basically dating for a year.) I have felt many emotions during the last 2 months since we have broken up. I've been relived, angry, upset, sad, disappointed and at ease. I first felt relived. The first week after I had broken up was great. Everyone was sad for me and therefore I received a lot of attention. But I guess I was only suppose to be upset the first week and then get over it. That wasn't the case. It seems like it has only gotten harder. Now I'm lonely and wondering if someone will ever care for me like he did. But I have learned that breaking up is part of life and if you have never broken up, you just aren't living. It's like learning to ride a bike. Just part of life.

But what is the proper way to morn? I could key his car. Eat an entire carton of ice cream. Lay in bed crying all day. Delete my facebook or "unfriend" him. Make out with a ton of guys. Tell everyone he is gay. Spread a nasty rumor about him. Listen to Coldplay all day. Get a new boyfriend. Leave the state. And the list could go on. Since I still think Jake is a good guy, I've stayed away from anything malicious. And thanks to facebook and their new "unsubscribe" feature, I haven't had to delete my facebook or delete him. Although I would love to leave the state my jobs and school prevent that, so I'm basically left with listening to Coldplay all day because it seems the most appropriated. Noah, my brother, has pointed out to me Coldplay is great for breaks up because it combines sad and upbeat. Noah has a theory it's the best band for break ups after his roommate broke up with his girlfriend so I decided to help him further the theory. Anyways.....

(picture of me and Jake at homecoming. his identity has been blocked for privacy)

I've also learned that no matter how old you are there is always a winner in breaks ups. One might think this only happens in high school but that's just not true. If you don't believe me then you are lying to yourself.

Jake  has been winning. Here is the point break down:
5pts for going on a date first
5pts for being content and happy with the break up
5pts for hang out with all the same people as before the break up while forcing the former partner to find new friends (or your life going on as normal)
5pts for making more friends and going to more parties and then posting it on facebook
10pts for hanging out with the friends that the former partner introduced you to
30pts for being happier single than with former partner
--------------------------
60pts for Jake    0pts for Hannah

Note: you can tie if you are able to "be happier single then with former partner"

So I'm loosing horribly at this particular break up. I mean his life has gotten exponentially better since the break up. In other words, dating me only brought him down. Which of course makes me feels horrible and worthless. So I needed redeem myself. Jake and I happen to be taking the same summer class. Although we do not sit together or study together, the class allows me to see just how great he is doing since the break up and sets up the ground for some good competition. I decided that I needed to beat him at our first exam so that my life would be more successful in at least one area. So I studied very hard and tried to find anyway to distract him from study without talking to him (which is nearly impossible). Well the test scores are back and my sources say I beat him. I'm not positive and quite frankly I'm fine with that. I won and therefore I'm not a complete failure.

 (blurry to protect identity, and because my camera struggles with zooming in)

Now a picture tells a thousand words, right? Well here is a picture of Jake in class. This picture was difficult to take because it was during class and he sits very far away. Let me point out a few things in this photo. First the blonde girl sitting two sits away must be his new girly friend because they always sit next to each other, but of course the day I bring my camera they don't! And yes, it does feel like a slap in the face everyday I go to class a see him flirt with this new blonde thing. But my sources have assured me that I am prettier and smarter than her so that make me feel a little better. Second, he caught me taking this photo so that was pretty awkward....